A Sudden Flash of Fiction!

Hello everyone! First off, I have a special announcement to make! The lovely V-writer from That V Word gave me an award! I do love those, you know.

The award is given to up-and-coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers. So, according to the rules (which are right here:) ,
(1. Thank the giver and link back to the blogger who gave it to you.
2. Reveal your top 5 picks and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
3. Copy and paste the award on your blog.
4. Have faith that your followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
5. And most of all - have bloggity-blog fun!)

according to the rules I get to give it out again! Woo-hoo!

So the people I feel deserve this award are:

1. EAL from Assembling Imaginations, a brilliant young writer who always has something interesting to say, whether it be on her own blog or on mine. ;)

2. Kevin Routh from Shards: The Poetry of Kevin Routh, an amazing wordsmith. I'm always excited to see what he's written next.

3. Esjae from Esjae Official. What can I say? I have a soft spot for sadgirlpoetry.

4. Myself from Myself Through My Eyes, who helps me find my inner child and always makes me laugh.

5. RJ from a drop in the ocean, whose thought-provoking posts, poems, and prose should be posted more often, because when they're not I go into withdrawal. 0_____0

Congrats you guys, and another huge thanks to V!

Now back to our regular program.

Remember how I said that I write poetry, not prose? Remember that? Well, I was lying. The only things I've been writing lately are PROSE! (Writing prose kind of kills my soul sometimes, so I've still been writing poetry intermittently.)

Today's post is a flash fiction piece I've been focusing on the past few days. Criticism would be appreciated, and suggestions on how to cut down on words. I'm keeping it under 1000 words, and right now I'm at about 950, but I'd like to add some more stuff at the end. (Also, sorry if it's a little hard to read. Blogger was giving me a hard time. :P )

“LEAVE A MESSAGE AT THE—”


“TO CHECK UNHEARD MESSAGES, PRESS ONE-ONE.”
Beep-beep
“UNHEARD MESSAGE. SENT FRIDAY AT THREE-FIFTY-ONE, P.M..”
“Hey David, it’s Mitchell from Maple Mountain Apartments. Just callin’ back to chat with you about your new apartment. Give me a call.”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT SATURDAY AT FOUR-THIRTEEN, P.M..”
“Hi hon. It’s Annette. Just wondering if you’d like to have dinner with me later tonight to celebrate your new home. I’m making pasta. Give me a call.”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT SUNDAY AT SEVEN-TWENTY-SEVEN, P.M..”
“Hi Davey. It’s Mom. Um, just wanted to see if everything is okay. Alyse called earlier today. She didn’t sound very well. Do you want to talk? Call me when you—”
beep-beep

“YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT TUESDAY AT SEVEN-FIFTY-EIGHT P.M..”
“Sweetie? It’s Alyse. Um, I know you don’t want to talk, but—”
beep-beep

“YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN DELETED. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT TUESDAY AT EIGHT-OH-THREE, P.M..”
“Hey man. It’s Jeremy. I heard about you and Alyse and just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you. If you’re up for it, me’n some of the guys are going bowling tomorrow night. Give me a call or text me. Whatever’s cool.”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT SUNDAY AT TEN-FIFTY, P.M..”
“Hey Davey, it’s me again. Alyse. Just wanted to call to see how you’re doing, and—”

click


“TO CHECK UNHEARD MESSAGES, PRESS ONE-ONE.”
Beep-beep
“FIRST UNHEARD MESSAGE. SENT MONDAY AT ONE-TWENTY-FIVE, A.M..”
“Davey, I know you won’t answer, but I needed to hear your voice on the answering machine.“I miss you so much. I can’t sleep without you here. This house is too big for me to live in alone.”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT MONDAY AT TEN-TWENTY-ONE, A.M..”
“Hello, Dave, this is Craig from Hansen and Associates. I set up a settlement session for you and Alyse for tomorrow, Tuesday, at nine o’clock am. If you can come earlier so we can discuss the situation beforehand, that would be great. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE SENT MONDAY AT TWO-FORTY-SEVEN, P.M..”
“Hi Davey, it’s Annette. I never heard back from you about dinner on Saturday, and you haven’t been returning my calls. Did you lose your phone? Call me back.”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT TUESDAY AT ELEVEN-SEVENTEEN, A.M..”
“Hey Dave. It’s me, Alyse. I was just wondering if you… well, if you wanted some paint for your apartment.
“I started painting the walls like you and I planned. Blue. I know it’s your favorite color.” sniff “Blue with yellow furniture, like the beach. Do you remember when we went to the beach last year? When we were just engaged. We flew a kite and you showed me how to send messages to it with a paperclip. Did I ever tell you what I wrote to the kite?
“I decided to paint the master green. I read that green is a calming color, and that’s why greenrooms are green so the actors don’t get nervous before their performance. Maybe we—I—should have painted it a long time ago. Maybe things would be different…”
“…Anyways, I’m sorry I missed the settlement. I haven’t been feeling well lately, and I slept late by accident. All I’ve wanted to do lately is sleep. It feels so good.
“I promise I won’t miss the next session. Call me back if you’d like me to bring over the paint.”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE SENT TUESDAY AT TWELVE-OH-ONE, A.M..”
“Hi Dave. It’s Alyse. I know you won’t answer, but… I need to talk to something other than myself.
“I… I decided it was time to clean out the baby—the storage room yesterday, and while I was in there I… I heard a baby crying. And I knew it was… that it was our baby.
“I looked all over the place—in the crib, the closet, through all the boxes, but I never found a baby. And it kept crying and crying, like it had been left alone. And I can still hear it. It’s there all the time, crying in every room. I’m afraid it’s haunting me, but no one else can hear it.
“Dave, I think I’m going insane! I need you! Please, answer the phone!”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT TODAY AT THREE-THIRTY, A.M..”
“Hi Dave… It’s Alyse... I was thinking about one of the messages I sent you and I realized that I never did tell you the message I sent to the kite.

“I asked it if it was lonely.
…
“It never answered…”

“END OF MESSAGE. NEXT MESSAGE. SENT TODAY AT THREE-THIRTY-NINE, A.M..”
“Davey…
“I wanted to call you and tell you that I love you.
…
“Don’t return my calls. I can’t answer anymore.”

“END OF MESSAGE. TO SAVE MESSAGE, PRESS THREE-THREE. TO CALL SENDER, PRESS ONE. TO—”
beep
“Hi, you’ve reached Alyse. If this is Dave, keep listening. Otherwise, please hang up.
…
“Davey, I’m sorry. I can’t be here, alone, anymore. I just… I know that our baby needs me. I don’t know how I know, but I do. And without you here… Well, I don’t know what else to do.
“I’m sorry. I… I wish things could have been different. I feel like… like this is all my fault. I just want to make things better.
…
“Leave a message after the—

“BANG!”

beeeeeeep

click